Walk in love

God has really been convicting me lately that He wants me to be a person who loves others, and sees them as his loved creation. I have been convicted for awhile now that I am too focused on task, and it was really apparent to me at work, where i see that my relationships have been suffering with conflict because i am not taking the time to care about people.

My prayer about 3 weeks ago was "help my work to be about people. not tasks. please show me what this means, practically. how to do this. how to live a life of love. how to imitate God in this area." Even though I knew what was wrong, and that God wanted me to love others, I couldn't see HOW to do this! So this weekend at church, I had Kurt pray with me, and I believe it was in response to my seeking Him in this way that He opened my eyes! It's been a work that God is doing in me, but it all came together for me this past weekend.

God showed me that life is not a business contract. i have been operating with people out of necessity, not out of desire. if i go to the store, i would be pleasant, but not pleased to be interacting with other people. they were an means to an end. My experiences in missions and support raising also contributed to viewing people as a resource :( AND God just opened my eyes to show me that my relationship with HIm is not a contract either where i am to be following Him because he is a means to an end.

People are important! God is giving me a new love for people, and helping me to set aside the judgement that i have struggled with for so long, and to embrace people...faults, weaknesses and all.

Jesus didn't just focus on the task of giving his life for us. He could have come, skipped ministering to people, caring about people, loving people, and simply given His life for us. Instead, He did it in love. (Gal. 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who LOVED ME, and gave himself for me.")

Eph. 5:1-2 "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. WALK IN LOVE, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

God wants me to love Him, and to love others. to love my neighbor in the same way i myself long to be loved. we are His hands and His feet. He has commanded us to love one another, that our joy may be made complete.

so what does this look like? taking a genuine interest in the people around me. seeing them! making eye contact. asking them about themselves. serving them, loving them in whatever way presents itself. reaching out to others to let them know you care. stopping to talk instead of walking by. believing the best, assuming postive intent instead of jumping to the worst conclusion. giving the benefit of the doubt. walking in grace. reflecting feelings and showing compassion. going out of my way to think of someone and call them to ask if you can meet a need. God did not intend for me to recluse myself in my house with just my family. I can be a catalyst to show them and lead them to learn how to love others. i need to seek for what i can learn from others. I can be open to relationship and to seeing what God will do in our lives corporately. God uses us in each others lives. Perhaps i have not discovered completely who i am, because i have been hiding. it is in relationship that you learn about yourself, that you reveal yourself, that you share who you are.

Lord, i pray that you would help me to continue to grow in this area. I want to love unconditionally and unselfishly. Not holding back in sharing today what i can with others. If you give me opportunity, may i speak of your love and share the hope that i have.

UPDATE 11/14:
I had several connections with people today that i normally don't have. I was able to genuinely pray for and listen to and love D at work re: her situation. i connected more with the moms at MMO and engaged them more in conversation than normal. S bore her heart to me about her situation with her MIL, and we embraced in a hug. I am so amazed at how God is opening doors for me in relationship to those around me. i am not afraid to talk to others. if i am thinking about how i can love and care for someone, then i am not thinking about what they are thinking about me, if that makes sense.

i had a curry

that's what a british friend said to our Bible study group a few years ago, and we giggled the whole time afterwards because it just sounded funny. I miss Emma :(

anyways, I made a wonderful curry/dahl http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=4917.0the the other night, and it was *really* good, esp. considering that I'm the one that made it, lol. I honestly could eat this morning (scrambled with eggs), noon and night. Abbi gave me the recipe, as well as her leftovers, and inspired me to try to cook something new. When dh was living in Nepal, that is what he ate 24/7 "Dahl Bat" and i don't think this probably lived up to his expectations, but at least now i am brave enough to try other variations and perhaps even an authentic Nepali recipe. Me eating lentils....who'd have guessed ;-)

the Glad Game...

I feel compelled to play the glad game. It is the game Pollyanna played, about finding the silver lining in every cloud, and finding something to be glad about. "in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God"

so here are my attempts.

1. even though we don't have our own yard, i'm glad we have a playhouse and kiddie pool on our back patio, and that they can play in the common area safely.

2. i was having a wierd day today, so I made the choice to turn the day around, and went up to get a shower so that my day would feel like it was starting over. It worked!

3. I never got to see fireworks as a kid. I'm glad that i've had so many chances to see them as an adult, and can give that special memory to my kids. we weren't wanting to fight the crowds at the park tonite, but going on the garage rooftop ended up to be really quiet and very memorable! We could see all of the fireworks all over the city...it was so fun!

4. I'm glad that my kids are the ages they are. Tigeroo is little enough for me still to hold, and Miley fits just under my chin and i can easily still wrap her in my arms. In their own way, I can still cuddle them and be close to them. Help me enjoy them just the way they are Lord, and never be in a hurry for them to grow up.

5. I had to have my root canal retreated, and thru it all, I'm glad that i have dental insurance now to help defray the cost. I'm glad i found a great endodontist that i'm 100% comfortable with, and I"m glad i have a sister back in PA who's a dental assistant and gives good advice, and mostly, I"m just glad it's over, lol!

do justly, now. love mercy, now

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." -- The Talmud (Micah 6:8)