the wonders of acidophilus

woohoo! I am in shock right now! I started ds on acidophilus about 5 days ago, hoping that probiotics would help him with his intestinal/constipation issues. well, of all things, it's helping his warts!!! He's had 2 nasty warts on the bottom of his feet, and today i checked his feet and realized...his warts are almost completely gone! I am beyond thrilled, as i have been concerned about them, and almost to the point of taking him to the dr. to treat them. i really wanted to be able to spare him the discomfort, and have been waiting it out, hoping that it'd go away on it's own. Thank you Lord!

so now i am trusting that this will also help his bowels regulate and that we'll eventually be able to pull him off of the laxatives. i'll keep ya posted ;)

Creator God we sing

Creator God we sing
a hymn of joy we're making
our grateful love we bring
as the new day's light is breaking.
God made the sea and land
the sun and stars came rolling
from God's own loving hand
their Creator's love extolling.

Alleluia, alleluia!
Creator God we sing: Alleluia!

Creator God we sing
your power and wisdom blessing
our hope and wonder bring
admiration now expressing.
The universe maintains
that God in might is dwelling
and we, in humble strains,
of God's beauty here are telling.

Alleluia, alleluia!
Creator God we sing: Alleluia!

http://www.missionstclare.com/music/c39.html

i'm grateful for

*turnarounds to a bad day with something as simple as love and a listening ear

*grandpas

*quiet moments with a cup of spiced chai tea

*Christmas carols playing everywhere I go

*God's grace that helps us in every circumstance

*recipes passed on to the next generation

*sisters to call

*a warm home with fires burning

my gratefulness 5

I am grateful:

1. that we have health insurance, lol. i'm sure my hubby wouldn't think this one is as funny as i do. ;-)

2. that all of my medical issues this fall were benign. thank you Lord for restoring my health and for all that You have taught me these last months.

3. for the family we've had visit us recently. After going 18+ months without seeing family prior to this summer, we are *drinking* in the love and blessing of time with family. I love seeing the kids interact with their grandparents.

4. for friends to call on the phone. sounds small to some, but HUGE to me. i went a long time without any close friendships.

5. for people who adopt children. i have some wonderful friends who blow me away with their open hearts and love for hurting and needy children. While i've said in the past that i'd love to adopt a child from Nepal, inside I see the selfishness that has crowded that idea out of my heart. If this is from YOU Lord, please give me back that desire when it is *Your* timing. And please strengthen Rene tonight as she begins her journey of adopting "S" and all of the transitions that "S" is facing as he unexpectedly joins their family today.

Awake, awake to love and work

Awake, awake to love and work!
The lark is in the sky;
The fields are wet with diamond dew;
The worlds awake to cry
Their blessings on the Lord of life,
As He goes meekly by.

Come, let thy voice be one with theirs,
Shout with their shout of praise;
See how the giant sun soars up,
Great lord of years and days!
So let the love of Jesus come
And set thy soul ablaze.

To give and give, and give again,
What God hath given thee;
To spend thyself nor count the cost;
To serve right gloriously
The God Who gave all worlds that are,
And all that are to be.

another version: http://www.missionstclare.com/music/morning/Awake_to_love/awake.html

Jesus, help me.

Lord, in every need let me come to You with humble trust saying, "Jesus, help me."

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations, Jesus, help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness, and trials, Jesus, help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles, and sorrows, Jesus, help me.

When others fail me and Your grace alone can assist me, Jesus, help me.

When I throw myself on Your tender love as a father and savior, Jesus, help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure at seeing no good come from my efforts, Jesus, help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me, Jesus, help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I am lonely, Jesus, help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls, and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Amen.

IMPOSSIBLE

IMPOSSIBLE means that i,
an ordinary young woman,
can be something special and significant
in an enormous, hurting world.
i can be love where i live,
and that is Christ...

and He really does make ALL
the difference!

~quote from Ann Kiemel

learn to lament

Eugene Peterson writes, “Lament isn’t an animal wail, an inarticulate
howl.”

“Lament notices and attends…details, images,
relationships. Pain entered
into, accepted, and owned can become
poetry,” he writes.

read more at http://aholyexperience.com/2008/02/learn-to-lament.html

child's wonder

Rachel Carson wrote, “If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.”

just guide gently

This blog entry has been really inspiring to me....

http://aholyexperience.com/2008/08/how-to-parent-just-guide-gently.html

captivated......

Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendor
You're close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I can not look away, can not look away...

Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face

Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my gaze
I become more like You and my heart is changed
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view
Transform me into the likeness of You

This is what I ask, for all my days
That I may, never look away, never look away...

Captivated by You
Captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon your beauty
Fixed upon your beauty

No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away

No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away

Just can't look away...

I am captivated by You
Captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty
Fixed upon the beauty
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face
Beauty of Your face

lumpectomy

I am heading into another surgery, though more minor, mid-november. I really didn’t anticipate this. I have 2 breast lumps (one larger, one tiny right above it) and the surgeon is unable to accurately biopsy them, so i will be having them removed and tested. I know that everything will work out, but i am still not exactly looking forward to this. It feels like i have been bombarded with health issues the last few months. I will be glad when it doesn’t feel like my life is “on hold” anymore. I’ve barely worked at the church with the kids since my hysterectomy, so i am just not in a normal groove.

I need to remember one of my favorite verses… be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

When Trials Come

Today I learn that i face yet another trial in my life.
Can anything separate us from the love of Christ?
Can trouble,
suffering,
and hard times,
or hunger and nakedness,
or danger and death?
In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us.
I am sure that nothing can separate us from God’s love–
not life or death,
not angels or spirits,
not the present or the future,
and not powers above or powers below.
Nothing in all creation can separate us from God’s love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord! romans 8

I am Blessed

God has reminded me lately that I am truly blessed, most of all with His steadfast love. I love the word steadfast…”firmly fixed in place; immovable; not subject to change”. This steadfast love is the love that has captured my heart! This song below was on my mind the morning of my hysterectomy, and with it came the peace that whether the worst or the best came, that it was my Father’s love for me that would see me through.



Thank you God for giving me the courage and the strength to walk through these past 2 months, and for all of the ways that you have surrounded me with your love.

DO instead of BUY

This is my goal over the next few weeks, to shop at home first. www.cindysporch.com suggests 3 rules when you need to buy something.

1. DO instead of BUY. look for what can you do that is FREE instead of actually paying to do something.

2. shop at home first. the whole idea is to use what you already have at home first, or substitute, or borrow from a friend if it is a 1x need. dig into your basement, attic, storage containers, closets, drawers, etc. and see if you can find what you need that way. This actually can be a lot of FUN! esp. when you discover things that you forgot you had, lol, or you get really creative ;-) In fact, it pays to check anytime you put something on the list. I thought that i needed to buy more disinfectant spray this weekend, and when i looked on the other side of my cabinet, lo and behold, i already have one! glad i checked. i even found a few toothbrushes, and a tube of toothpaste i forgot i had. Cindy's Porch is doing a Fall Decorating Challenge. So i am going to try to decorate my house for autumn by digging around and seeing what i can rearrange and use that looks "fallish"

3. Procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate. this is one time that is is OKAY to procrastinate! this one is for me, hehe. supposedly, if you wait as long as you can to purchase an item, you'll either discover that you don't need it, or that you can find a better deal, or that you can substitute it with something else.

Happy shopping at home!

ACTS prayer

great blog on the ACTS way of praying

http://myderbe.wordpress.com/2007/06/28/the-acts-prayer-formula/

5 days post surgery

I am now 5 days post-surgery, and doing well. dr. W ended up doing a lapriscopically-assisted vaginal hysterectomy, and he removed my uterus and cervix. When he went in with the scope, he found what he believed to be a grapefruit-sized degenerating fibroid. so he felt he could safely do surgery without doing a big 'ole abdominal incision. boy was i ever surprised, because he had been pretty certain he would have to open me up.

I am enjoying the quietness of the day, being able to chill out on the couch and crochet (I made a bible cover yesterday), read my Bible, journal, and also enjoy a little time with my mom. it had been 4.5 years since she was last here. We both have the same sense of humor (oh, you didn't know i had one, did ya?!) and so there are times where i'm telling her "stop! please stop!" cause i am howling from her stories.

Part of me is eager to be on the mend. I like to stay busy, and am fairly independent. It's humbling to need help. Part of me doesn't want the restfulness to end. It's been restful for my soul to have this time.

One thing that i've definitely come out of this experience is recognizing how much i need community, and need my brothers and sisters in Christ. whether it has been a card, a phone call, a meal, an email, a ride for my kids, or a visit, I have been blessed in so many ways by the fellowship that has surrounded me and my family during this season. We left ministry 3 years ago, and I think that I got to the point where I didn't want community at that time. I had been burnt in some ways that took time to heal from. And I've been awakened to the pain and suffering and hurt that is in the lives of so very many. My own pain and suffering opened my eyes to the needs of those around me. I don't want to go back to being an island. Lord, help me to find the way in which I can make a difference in those around me, and be your comforting and loving hands and feet in this community.

Busy getting ready for surgery

4 days 'til surgery! It's hard to believe it's coming up so quickly. I'm ready for it to be over, and not have this heavy mass in my uterus. At the same time, it's a finality to my fertility. However, in some ways i reconciled a long time ago that i was not made as a fertile person, and am very blessed to have the two that i do. If for some reason they decide to take my ovaries during surgery, i think that i will have a much harder time dealing with that.

so, i am a bit nervous about what it will be like to be recovering afterwards. I'm writing out some verses on a spiral index card to take with me so that i can read them at the hospital. i'm taking sudoku, and some love inspired novels, lol. The one movie that i should swear to myself i will not watch after my surgery are any of the "love comes softly" series. oh my goodness. talk about being a wretchedly emotional mess while watching those movies. my absolute fav movie of all time is While you were sleeping. i could watch that movie any time. i need to send hubby out movie hunting for me, or have him run to the video store and rent it for a week.

Thankfully my mom is coming for 2 weeks. It has been about 4 years since she was here to see us, so it will be nice to have her. I am trying to view this recovery time as a forced vacation, lol. I'm allowed to be lazy. honestly, i probably do more for my kids than i need to. I'm trying to work on that, and shift to them being more independent. this certainly will help, don't ya think?!

so, i am currently in crazy-mode, trying to prep the house, and thinking ahead to what i can do to make it easier on my family while i am caputz. I worry about ds's allergies, so i am trying to prepare for that the best i can. The school has done great and been very understanding and cooperative. I feel like we're on the same page. I must work with ds to be more vocal though about when he is having an allergic reaction. My hubby called while i was at a school open house, and said that ds's mouth was hurting, and what should he do. he didn't see anything wrong inside his mouth, and he'd tried a cough drop and water and it wasn't helping. I could hear his pitiful cry in the background :( i was like "GIVE HIM BENADRYL" and of course i raced home to make sure he was alright (and he was fine by the time i got home...thank you God for benadryl! so, i am working with ds on a script: "my mouth HURTS. i need BENADRYL...right now!" repeat above phrase until the adult with you complies, lol.okay, i'm off to bed now. toodles :-)

my Gratitude 5

1. my kids will be attending a VBS this coming week in the evenings, and i blown away that one of the moms has offered to adapt the church's dinners to be allergy-free for those who need it! Her son has allergies, and she runs an allergy-free daycare. I never in a million years would expect them to cater to us. This will be such a huge weight lifted off of me to not have to accomodate their needs this week...is that awesome or what.

2. I get to stay home this summer!!!!!!!! okay, not stay home, as in never go anywhere (lol) but I won't have to WORK for 3 whole months!!!!!!!! Yay!

3. I was able to actually bandage up one of dd's friends this afternoon, without totally loosing it. I don't handle blood and flesh very well, but i actually aced this, haha. (maybe it helped knowing that i was sending her back to her mom within the hour and wouldn't have to deal with it later)

4. i LOVE the cool summer evenings/mornings that we've been having. heck, i'll take this weather over 98deg. weather back east any day.

5. i have the greatest kids. and they have such awesome personalities. dd (9) is an ESFP and ds (5) is an ESFJ (dd is trapped in a family of all SJ's) studying their traits has made them more endearing to me :heart

Cancer is a 6 letter word

My MIL Barbara has cancer. Stage 4 breast cancer.She is an amazing woman. One who clings to her heavenly Father, and hopes in His purposes for her. I am amazed at how much tenacity she has shown as she faces her cancer. Often when our phone conversations end, I am the one hanging up more uplifted and encouraged, thinking that it should be the other way around. Let me just say, that if i face what she is one day, that I pray i have the same grace and strength. Recently a speaker at our church shared that we can pray for God to do in us what glorifies Him most. And I must say that God is absolutely being glorified thru Barbara's life right now.

The current state of her cancer. She has malignant tumors in her breast, in the lymph under her arm, and bone lesions on her leg, pelvis, lower and upper back, skull and sternum. During the hysterectomy she had 2 weeks ago, one of the polyps they removed also was found to have cancer, although it appears to have been self-contained. Since her cancer seems to be hormone fed, they are thinking that this hysterectomy will help alleviate a source of hormones that were feeding this cancer. It is unbelievable that she hasn't had any pain from these lesions. I think the oncologist is surprised that she is doing so well. She had a Zometa bone strengthening treatment 3 weeks ago, and that was when she felt pain in every one of those lesions, but even that was short-lived and went away after a few days.

So, her current treatment plan is:~Zometa IV treatment 1/x month (her 2nd treatment is June 6th)~Hormone (supression) therapy in the form of a daily pill (beginning on June 9th)~possible addition of a monthly injection to supress hormones, depending on which group the clinical trial places her in.

My MIL's motto has always been "I'll live 'til I die" which, if you think about it, is pretty profound, lol. This was her response whenever i would gently encourage her to seek medical advice about several health concerns that she's had over these past few years. So when she shared with us her cancer dx, I really wasn't sure what to expect her response to be. We want to respect whatever choices she makes, so if she comes to the point where she feels that she needs to stop treatment, we will do our best to support her. But for now, we are very thankful that she is willing to seek treatment, and we are thankful for more time with our mom, MIL and ma-ma. The question in my mind is always, how can we make the most of the time we have been given with her?

speaking of which, we are all excited to be able to drive to visit ma-ma at the end of June and spend a week with her. We'll get to visit her church and meet her new pastor which she raves about, celebrate her 64th birthday together, hopefully spend the 4th all together as a family, including BIL and his family, Camden Park, and who knows what else. As long as Barbara is feeling well, I'm sure we'll be on the go. We're talking about a woman who went out to eat with a friend 4 DAYS after her hysterectomy!!!! I guess you can't keep a good woman down ;-)

In Christ Alone

"In Christ Alone"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2001 Kingsway Thankyou Music

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.