pure joy

Coming into 2009, the comments i kept receiving from friends were that 2009 had to be better than 2008 (in terms of all the trials that i went thru the 2nd half of 2008). While that sounds great, i think that i've come to realize (as of the 2nd week of january, if not before, lol.) that life is just going to be full of trials, and i had better get used to it. really. at first that possibly sounds cynical, but it's not meant that way. I used to think that if i was serving God and "in the center of his will" that i in some way could expect things in my life to just fall into place. That I would be somehow protected from pain and suffering. Perhaps that's part of the reason why i stayed in my little christian bubble at ywam for so long. But that's a whole nother train of thought best kept for another post.

anyhow, i am learning that trials WILL come. It doesn't mean that i am in sin, or that i have somehow "missed the boat". The Bible says that even Jesus learned obedience through the things that he suffered. Who am I to expect any less?

Can I say that i am at the point that i can consider it joy that these trials come, as Paul encourages us in James? that would probably be stretching it. But i no longer see it as something to be ashamed of, or as a sign of some failure on my part. I'm learning to find a place of peace within the storms that come, and am grateful for the breathing space that comes between the trials in which i can look back and reflect on the ways in which God's presence and grace brought me through that trial. For an opportunity to draw near to God and grow in my love and dependance upon Him.

It wasn't until i had Gracey that i understood what it meant for God to "uphold us with his righteous right hand." One day Gracey and I were walking down the stairs of our 3 story apartment, and she stumbled on a stair. Had I not been holding her hand, she would have plunged down those stairs. Yep, she was literally dangling in my hands for a second, but she was safe. And God gave me an image of him holding me in the same way...as my loving heavenly Father.

I was reading my devotional today, and the words in Psalm 37 "trust in the Lord, and do good." jumped off the page as never before. I was getting ready to head into work, and was preparing my heart for what the morning held. I was looking for one gold nugget to meditate on that morning. And those 7 simple words gripped my heart...."trust in the Lord, and do good." What an amazing, wonderful command. It can be so easy for me to make following Christ more complicated than it needs to be. And here it was. very simple. trust in the Lord. and do good.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us, but if we confess our sins, God, who is faithful and just, will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:8, 9

As the season of lent begins today, I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of my sin and shortcomings. But even more overwhelming is the magnitude of Christ's forgiveness and mercy, the great love of my Savior.

This is my prayer today:

R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;
in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.
Thoroughly wash me from my guilt
and of my sin cleanse me.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
For I acknowledge my offense,
and my sin is before me always:
"Against you only have I sinned,
and done what is evil in your sight."
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
A clean heart create for me, O God,
and a steadfast spirit renew within me.
Cast me not out from your presence,
and your Holy Spirit take not from me.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
Give me back the joy of your salvation,
and a willing spirit sustain in me.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.

1 Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, *
and whose sin is put away!
2 Happy are they to whom the LORD imputes no guilt, *
and in whose spirit there is no guile!
6 I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD." *
Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32

Thank you Lord for the joy that you bring me, in that place of assurance of your forgiveness. Thank you for your steadfast love that never ceases.

change

i love changing things up here on my blog...a change of scenery is always nice. there's something theraputic about changing my blog...maybe it speaks to a certain power that i have here that i don't have in real life. i don't know. i really don't feel like paying someone to figure it out either, haha.

i used to love changing around my furniture, until a) my furniture got too big and cumbersome b) my body got too weak to manhandle furniture and c) i got smart enough to listen to my body, lol. I have to strategically plan and convince my husband of why a change would be practical. having a hubby who is an ISTJ taught me a long time ago that anytime i need to use my powers of persuasion upon him, they're best utilized thru a lens of praticality. smart wife that i am ;)